• Annie Wood

OH, DEER! Just a Theory #artseries #bookexcerpts #subscribe

Updated: Feb 27, 2019

Hello awesome subscribers! I'm sending out this limited edition self portrait print from my new series, OH, DEER! to a subscriber soon! If you didn't sign up with a physical address, email me!


View the whole series here.



I also created a photo art ebook, CREATIVE COMPULSIVE, with 101 of my images in order to raise more funds to support my creative pursuits. Only $11. Have a look!



Here are three short blurbs from my book, JUST A THEORY, a quantum love adventure. This, and two additional titles, will be out this year. Stay tuned!


As always, if you enjoyed this, please share!

Love and Good Vibes,

Annie



~The Professor~


Martin was hired by the brilliant, yet eccentric, quantum physicist, Professor Welles, to shoot a documentary about him. The professor has a large grey mustache that curls up at the ends. He's balding, wears glasses, and speaks in excited, hushed tones as if he’s constantly on the edge of revealing something huge. Little children often mistake him for a peer. Or a very large baby. The man practically bubbles over with enthusiasm.

He is so giddy that he often bursts into laughter for no apparent reason. It’s as if he’s carrying on a continuous conversation of inside jokes between himself and himself.

The professor is in the middle of theorizing. He sits behind a large desk, on which there’s a bust of a smiling Albert Einstein.

“You see, Einstein didn't much care for chance. His theories demand that the universe is orderly and predictable. But, on the scale of atoms and particles, the truth is, the world is one thrilling, fascinating, mind-blowing game of chance. At the quantum level...uncertainty rules.” The professor loves this last bit so much he is positively beaming with joy as he puffs on his pipe and smiles wildly into the camera. It would seem that quantum physics really turns this guy on. Also, he loves the attention. His eyes smile too, keeping his mouth company. Tyra Banks calls this smizeing. The professor is a master smizer. He anxiously awaits for Martin to ask him the next question.


~Out of Body~


Pages, words, sentences float across Martin’s mind as he lie in bed.

You are in a state of consciousness similar to a twilight between sleep and full waking awareness. To find the answers, simply tell yourself, ‘I will now have an out-of-body experience.’ Trust. Let go. Explore!

If the professor wants to play games with him, then fine, he’ll play along. Just the mere chance of seeing Abby again is worth feeling stupid for a minute while he’s alone in his bedroom. Without much feeling, he repeats the mantra...

“I will now have an out-of-body experience. I will now have an out-of-body experience.”

He’s getting sleepy, but he manages to repeat the sentences with a tad more commitment.

“I will now have an out-of-body experience. I will now have an…”

At that moment Martin hears a loud POP. His body begins to vibrate violently. He watches, in utter amazement, as his spirit actually detaches as a carbon-copy of his physical body. His spirit self looks down upon his physical self, which is still in bed, motionless. This fact freaks out the spirit self which, in turn, startles the physical self. The sudden fear of both selves makes the physical self quickly suck the spirit self back into him like a high-powered-spirit Hoover.

A bewildered Martin stumbles into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face and reassure his reflection in the mirror. “It’s cool, It's cool, I'm cool."


~Normal~


Have you ever experienced déjà vu?”

“You just asked me that.”

“It’s a little metaphysical comedy.” The professor laughs.

Martin can’t find the funny right now. He just glares at the professor.

How about the feeling that you know someone from before, even though you’ve just met?” the professor asks.

“Sure, I’ve felt that before.”

“All of that is because you have met them and you have been there before. Maybe even simultaneously.”

Martin puts his head in his hands again as the professor goes on to explain Einstein’s theory of everything.

“We all know Einstein’s most popular theory, the theory of relativity and his second great theory which brought us general relativity, space warps, the Big Bang, and black holes. But, it’s his third one, the theory of everything, that was his greatest theory. What he had hoped for was that his crowning achievement would be the discovery of the unified field theory. An attempt to read the mind of God.”

“What did God say?”

“Nobody knows. Einstein died before he finished it.”

“And this helps me how?” Martin asks.

“It doesn’t. I’m sure this is just a temporary opening and will close soon enough. In the end, you might have fleeting memories, but that’s all. In the meantime, enjoy this peek into the mysterious.” The professor giggles a little as he leans back in his chair and pretend puffs on his prop pipe.

Martin considers beating him over the head with the Einstein bust.




Lastly, in honor of my dad's 94th birthday today, here's a video interview I did with him a few years ago for Huffington Post's #TalkToMe project.

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 Knock on Wood Productions