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Book Excerpts from Carrie's New Mantra
We are sitting on Carrie's living room floor, drinking two dollar boxed wine, complaining about everything. We are redundant - yet amusing.

"Why do you, why do you, why?"

That's Carrie's mantra whenever she meets a new guy.

I told her she needed a new mantra.

She defends herself per usual, "You don't understand. Daniel is terrific. It's just that he has these things that he does..."

I interrupt in Daniel's defense, "We all have things that we do."

"I know. But I like my things. I like your things."

"You don't like Danny's things?," I ask.

"Some of his things. But, I just can't stand how he insists on explaining jokes that I already get or why he repeats the last four words off my sentences. It's making me nuts!"

"Well," I begin to offer with my cheap-wine-induced-wisdom, "Maybe he just wants to make sure that you understand each other at all times."

But nobody understands each other at all times!" That's part of the fun!" Carrie insists.

Confused, I ask, "Part of the fun? You mean the reason why I'm not having any fun is because I understand too much?"

"Exactly!," she says like she's thought about this her whole life. We both know she's making it up as she goes along.

"We need to understand less and enjoy more," Carrie decides.

She's brilliant when she improvises.

I challenge her, "So, according to this philosophy of yours, it shouldn't really matter why Danny explains his jokes or repeats your words. Right?"

"Right!" Carrie agrees enthusiastically.

We sit in silence for awhile and savor our fruity, acidic sulfites and pretend to approve of it's nasty aftertaste. It suddenly makes so much sense. "Why do you , why do you, why?" is just a waste of time. Besides, I find that most people don't really know why they do the things that they do anyhow. We're all better off if we just choose people to be with whose "things" we already like.

Carrie snaps out of her daze and wonders out loud, "Why does he spell favour with a "u"? He's not English! And why does he, why does he, why does he, still keep in touch with his ex-girlfriends?
And why does he think that "Saturday Night Live" is still funny? Can't he see that they let the skits run on too long? Is he blind?!!"

We try to figure out what's wrong with Danny and the world, as we open up another box of wine and try not to understand anything too much.

"Understand less. Enjoy more." Carrie says 10 times fast.

Looks like Carrie finally got a new mantra.

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